Hey there Reader,
The other day I went into the pharmacy to pick up my MHT patches, and the woman behind the counter went to get my prescription before I’d even said my name.
I hadn’t realised she knew who I was, and it changed the interaction straight away. I wasn’t just another person in line.
I noticed the same thing getting coffee recently, when the barista asked if I wanted my regular latte before I’d ordered it.
It wasn’t about efficiency. It was about being seen.
🔍 One thing to notice
Pay attention to where you experience this in your own life.
Not the big moments, but the ordinary ones. The ones where you’re recognised, not just interacted with.
Like when:
- someone remembers who you are or something you’ve said before
- someone listens and responds in a way that shows they’ve actually taken you in
- someone notices your effort or contribution without you having to point it out
And then notice the other side of it.
Because you can’t control how often other people do this for you, but you can do it for others.
You can:
- use someone’s name
- remember something they told you
- listen properly instead of half-listening
- acknowledge effort or contribution
These things are small, but they shape how people experience an interaction.
🌍 A wider lens
In Mattering, Jennifer Breheny Wallace describes mattering as two connected experiences: feeling valued, and knowing that you add value.
Feeling valued is about being seen and recognised. Adding value is about having some effect, however small, in the spaces you’re part of.
They tend to show up together, but not always.
You can feel appreciated, but not feel like you have much impact.
Or you can contribute a lot, but not feel that it’s really noticed.
When both are there, there’s more of a sense of being part of things, rather than just moving through them.
When they’re not, you can go through your day, interact with people, get things done, but still feel like you don’t quite register.
This is one of the ideas we’re exploring in the book club this month.
If you want to read along, you’re welcome to join:
👉 Click to join the book club
This is also something we look at in my Self Discovery coaching.
Often people come in thinking they need to fix something, but what we actually uncover is where they don’t feel seen, where they feel interchangeable, or where they’re not using what they have to offer.
Once you can see that clearly, it becomes much easier to decide what needs to change.
👉 Click to explore Self discovery