Hey there Reader,
Next month will mark 20 years since I stopped drinking alcohol.
I don't miss it. By the time I stopped, it was causing more pain than pleasure.
But before that, I loved to party. So did my then-husband. It would not be uncommon for us to go to the infamous China Inn for karaoke, and stay until the final song of the night was sung.
One particular evening, we did not take this as an invitation to go home. Instead, we went to the only place in town that was licensed to serve alcohol after 3am: the local brothel.
I remember being perched on a stool at the bar with one of the crooners from the China Inn, whose idea it had been to come there. His name escapes me, so I’ll call him Jim. Jim was a self-proclaimed regular, although ostensibly not for the women.
The place was packed. There were women there, but we were significantly outnumbered by men and, in fairness, most of the other women were working.
I remember looking around, feeling somewhat out of my depth. Just to the side of the entrance was a door, painted a fitting shade of scarlet, and every now and then a man would disappear through it.
Some wore wedding rings. Some of them I recognised.
Jim took a sip of his rum and coke, leaned over, and said to me, “Sooner or later, they all go through the red door.”
That line has stayed with me for more than twenty years.
Because there was something about it that rang true, and not just about brothels.
Spend enough time in a particular environment and what once seemed unthinkable can start to feel normal.
And once something feels normal, it can start to feel possible.
🪞 Something to consider
What is your environment teaching you is normal?
✨Try this
Think about one area of your life where you want something different.
Then look around you.
What are you seeing repeatedly?
What are the people around you doing, talking about and treating as normal?
What does your workplace, home, community or social media feed make seem ordinary?
And is that helping you move towards the life you want, or away from it?
💭A final thought
If you’re going to go through a red door, make sure it’s because you chose to.