Hey there Reader,
Last week, I wrote about that uncomfortable space many of us have experienced, where knowing your problem doesn't translate to taking action (If you missed it, you can read it here).
This week, I want to look at the other side of that pattern.
Because staying the same is rarely accidental.
More often, it’s doing an important job.
The version of your life you’re living now, even if it feels flat or limiting, probably offers something real.
Predictability.
A sense of control.
Protection from judgement.
These things matter.
When you look at it from this perspective, change doesn't just require effort. It invites risk. It asks you to loosen something that’s been keeping you steady, even if it’s also been keeping you small.
When we skip over this, we tend to frame change as a motivation problem. You know - If I wanted it badly enough, I’d do something about it.
But often what’s really happening is quieter than that.
Part of you is protecting what feels safe.
🔍 One thing to notice
Notice one area of your life where staying the same gives you something back.
It might be certainty.
It might be competence.
It might be not having to explain yourself to anyone.
What is this current pattern helping you keep or avoid?
🌍 A wider lens
Behavioural research shows that humans strongly prefer existing states over change, even when change would improve wellbeing. Psychologists call this the status quo bias.
We’re wired to prioritise what we already have over what we might gain. Familiarity feels safer than possibility and our brains are all about safety.
Seen through this lens, hesitation isn’t about lacking willpower. It’s the nervous system doing exactly what it’s designed to do.
Until that sense of safety is addressed, even the best tools for change falter and stall.
The cost of this bias is rarely dramatic or crisis-inducing. More often, it shows up as a gradual narrowing that looks like fewer risks taken and less experimentation. A life that works, but doesn’t stretch.
The compounding effects of this over time, however, can mean your life ends up miles from where you dreamed it would go.
If you enjoy exploring ideas like this in a slow, practical way, this is exactly how we work inside The Good Life Book Club, using reading and small experiments to gently question old defaults.
👉 Click to join the book club
And if what feels hard is not knowing what to do, but staying supported while you do it, coaching offers a space to work things through over time.
👉 Click to explore coaching